I went in to visit my doctor and he seemed skeptical (that I have bipolar II) and set me up with a prescription for generic Zoloft and referred me to a short-term therapist. I left feeling very down, it’s not like I thought he would say, “By George, you’re abso-fucking-lutely right! Here’s some lithium!” but I hoped he’d take it a little more seriously and actually look into the different types of bipolar. He asked some questions about hallucinations and psychosis and the like, but I don’t experience extreme symptoms (or bipolar I symptoms for that matter, which I feel is what he was asking about) – and I don’t hallucinate at all, so I feel like he wrote it off as depression with anxiety disorder.
I feel like it’s more than just that though. I guess that’s what the referral is for, but he even mentioned that the therapist isn’t a long-term type of therapist. Whatever. This is so frustrating! I’m so tired and lethargic, but I want to get better! I just want a medical professional that can help me get on a path of recovery as soon as possible, but it’s just an unending loop of non-listeners and month long waits for appointments that get me nowhere.
Also, in researching sertraline (generic Zoloft), some say it exacerbates bipolar symptoms worse than other SSRIs. I feel like when I was on paroxetine (generic Paxil) it may’ve caused some rapid cycling and hypo-mania, but it’s hard to tell since I wasn’t really trying to analyze it with bipolar-vision. Looking back though, over the past few years I’ve been kinda fucked up. Or at least, seemingly more so.